Christmas in our Hearts

I remember the first Christmas that I "spent" with the Glovers. Brandon & I had been dating about 5 months and I flew to North Carolina from Memphis to visit his family for a few days after Christmas. We ate at a yummy breakfast place, his mom gave me a Yankee Candle sleigh with 2 candles that I still have, we went with his brothers to watch a basketball game, I think I let his mom iron a shirt for me (did that happen? I have a vague memory of it happening, but am hoping I am wrong. She must have thought I was crazy, but has clearly forgiven me,) and it was just really fun and festive and I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted to spend more holidays (and regular days) with these Glovers.

The subsequent years were full of festivities and love and happiness and personalized gifts and delicious food, all under the careful, seemingly effortless guidance of Toni. I like Christmas with the Glovers; it is part of what is right in my world. Like coffee and eyepatches in the morning, rainboots in the rain, ice cream at birthday parties- Toni's Christmas lunch, Gag Gift distribution and thoughtful gift giving are part of what is supposed to happen. And, this year those things didn't happen, so we are calling this "The Year of the Temporary Christmas/The Christmas We need to Forget/Please End, Christmas ." This is in large part due to Max's 57th & 58th ear infections-his worst bout yet.

A more positive name is "Christmas in our Hearts." 

Also,"Christmas Through FaceTime. Lots of FaceTime. 

This was a shout out to Toni & Jack at Christmas. The idea was for everyone to sign it as a note to them, but some people are losers and did not cooperate. (Kidding-Nobody is a loser)

I have not mentioned this on my blog due to a desire to respect Toni & Jack's privacy, but after 6 months, I am breaking that chain of respect. Sorry guys. Love you. 

To backtrack, you might remember this post where I tried to cram all of the wonderful things about Jack in one post or this post where people ran the Buddy's Race because Jack is awesome.

But, those were a few years ago and our journey has changed since then. 

Toni & Jack left to go to Houston in early July for Jack to undergo a stem cell transplant. 

That was a long time ago. 

We miss them. 

A lot. 

I will not go into too much detail because I am going to halfway pretend to retain that privacy thing, but this journey has been longer and tougher that we could have imagined when we waved goodbye as they pulled down the driveway so many months ago. 

Brandon is incredibly close to his parents, which is one of the main reasons that I fell so hard for him 12 years ago.* As it turns out, I am also incredibly close to his parents because they are pretty amazing and love me like a daughter and basically worship my babies. Plus, I owe them my happiness. They raised Brandon to be such a loving and unselfish person, both traits which transfer very well to being a spouse and dad. And, they are my family, too.

*true story-1 thing that I just loved about him from day 1 was how close he is to his family. I have a vivid memory of both of us cleaning the big table at the end of the booths at TGI Fridays (Table 44?) and him talking about his family in North Carolina and how his parents are his favorite people. Possibly a line but, whatever, it worked. 

We hoped they were going to be home by late October, early November at the latest. Then, we just knew we were going to be eating turkey with them. At the very latest, we planned for Christmas to be what reunited us. But life, as it turns out, has other plans and Jack & Toni spent Christmas at the hospital in Houston. 

When I say I love my mother in law, "love" is a word that I use to encompass respect, admire, appreciate, strive to be like, am inspired by and need in my life. She has been a stoic source of strength, love, inspiration and information for everyone during this entire journey. Perhaps the moment that best describes this was when she very casually told me, "I am going to spend tomorrow night (Christmas Eve) at the hospital with Jack. They have a big armchair that I can spread out in." 

Oh. 

And, I was complaining to her about her grandson's ear infections. 

To be fair, they are really, really intense. Does that count?? No, it doesn't. 

It was not just the willingness to spend the night in a hospital on Christmas Eve, but it was the matter of fact way she said it. There is not a trace of martyrdom in her body and that trait is so rare and wonderful, it will totally catch you off guard. I knew when I married Brandon that it was forever, if for no other reason* than that he has such an amazing example of what true love is in the form of his parent's marriage and that has been completely proven by Toni's dedication and perseverance during this phase of watching Jack kick Lymphoma's butt. 

*So many other reasons. 

But, I am totally digressing from the point of this post. Back to Christmas. 

Toni has a MILLION things going on in her life right now, all of which trump any need to think about anyone other than herself or Jack. But, in true GG form, she was determined to give her kids/grandkids a true Christmas so she spent a lot of time planning and ordering gifts for Anderson, Max and me (told you I was loved:) and even arranged for her friends to wrap them. I told her I could have done that and she responded that she wanted me to be surprised, too. Such is her. I loaded everything in my car and truly felt like Santa as I drove home. You know, a version of Santa where someone else has bought and wrapped all of the presents. 

She sent cards and gifts to all of us, 

and did not even forget the Christmas Eve gifts for the girls. 

We repaid her by FaceTiming her all night on Christmas Eve and as much on Christmas day as we could without deafening her with Max's screams. Speaking of Max, I am really giving the poor kid's ears a hard time. Life, as it turns out, really does happen for a reason. Because Max was sick on Christmas, Jack & Toni would not have been able to come over anyway due to Jack's immune system. So, we would have been face timing from their house! I know that is a really crappy consolation prize, but it made us feel a little better. If 4 days/nights of a screaming Max give us a little consolation, then we will deal with the side effects, 

Meanwhile, we are all literally counting down the days/minutes until our family is in the same city again. Then, we can look back on this Christmas as the temporary one,  as we are all cozily gathered back at Toni's house, where we belong.