PUBLIC and the EYE

We are at a GREAT place in patching world now, but that doesn't mean that we don't still have some rough times...

I've realized something recently. Randomly, it was an old man in an elevator at my last doctor appointment that triggered this epiphany.

A lot of people ask about Anderson's eye. I mean, a lot. And, it does not bother me. At all.

When he was a baby in an eyepatch and little bifocals, people mostly seemed sort of scared of him/us. I admit I probably was not giving off the most welcoming vibes, so that might have contributed to this. Even though he was older than most of the other ikids were when they began this journey, he was so little to me. A 12th%ile in weight 13 month old is pretty tiny when you think about it. It think his tininess deterred questions, but every now and then, someone would ask about his eye and, again, I was not exactly encouraging of the questions, so it usually did not go well. My biggest issue was the way it was worded, "What is wrong with him?" Bobblehood instincts are at their height when the son of the Bobble in question is criticized, so I do not apologize for my possibly very rude reactions.

So, for a long while, I gave a short, clearly agitated response, or my husband told people stories about our pet parrot and the "accident." I was hurting and worried and pissed off and resentful and all kinds of things and just did not feel like I owed an explanation to Public.

But, the passing of time usually works in our favor, so here we are now. Since he is older and clearly normal based on his constant talking and activity, I think people are less intimidated by him and his much calmer Bobble. Public asks ALL of the time about his eye and it is so predictable. I was sort of chuckling to myself when the interaction happened with Old Man in the Elevator because I was mentally envisioning each step before it happened.

We have a Public Eye Question routine, which I find hilarious.

Question #1: This falls into 2 categories: Old Men & Women.

Old Men always ask in a very sympathetic way, "What happened to his Eye?"

Women always ask, "Does he have a lazy eye?" One person ever has asked if it was a cataract. That was the mom at CVS who gave up patching her toddler because it was too difficult. Shudder.

The Reaction: So, I answer with a brief explanation.

 "He was born with a pediatric cataract, so he has a transplant lens and we have to patch his good eye to strengthen his vision in the cataract eye."

Old Men always look very sad at this answer.

Women always share a story about how their nephew/cousin/neighbor/friend had a kid with a lazy eye who had to patch for 30 minutes for 6 months.


Question #2: ALWAYS..."How long does he have to wear it?"

Pause. I wish I had a camera to record the reaction when I say, "Until he is 7, so 4 more years."

Hilarious. I cannot explain the instinctive reaction this answer. It is pretty shocking to hear, when I think they were expecting 6 months or so. When I add, "We have been patching about 2 1/2 years so far, so 1/3 of the way there!" it just gets even better.


The Reaction:

Old Men always look very sad at this answer. Initially they are anyway, and then...and I love this part...I see a bit of admiration in their eyes as they watch this awesome kid in all of his 3 year old glory, just throwing things, attacking someone, destroying something.etc. Possibly I see the admiration because I am looking for it, I am not sure, but most of the old men (they are very predictable) will say something like, " It doesn't seem to stop him!" or " That will make him stronger." or something along those lines. I answer with, "Kids are resilient; he is awesome!" or some other canned phrase, give a big smile and haul my little terrorist off to our next stop.

Women always share a story about how their nephew/cousin/neighbor/friend had a kid with a lazy eye who had to patch for 30 minutes for 6 months. (WHY? Why ON EARTH would you tell me this? Clearly we are not only not in the same boat, we are not even in the same ocean...but, I nod in agreement and appreciate the attempt at a connection.)

Anyway, we have not reached the point where Anderson explains it himself to adults, but I know that is our next step. This conversation is such a routine part of our day and I know it will not be one day, so this is just another attempt at keeping up with every single aspect of our daily lives. :)