Acceptance.

Perhaps nobody can sum it up as well as Lily did when she saw this picture in a book and said, "There's Anderson!"Duh. Of course that's him.

The point of this is that I have totally reached the Acceptance stage of this Eye thing. It only took 9 months, which is about the same amount of time you have to to get used to having a baby. In some ways, this was just as life changing, I think.

The beginning of the Eye was pretty rough. I only realize this now as I am able to look back on it with a bit of perspective. The shock, the unknown, the fear, the worry. The GIANT KNOT in my stomach for 4 months or so. I know that I may seem a bit over dramatic, but imagine a doctor telling you that the best case scenario for your 11 month old is one good eye, thick bifocals forever & no contacts. It's not really the most encouraging bit of news.

I remember so clearly the date of Anderson's 2nd Ped. Ophthalmology appt (in Knoxville) & waiting, waiting to go. We had been patching 2 hours a day for 2 weeks and I was so stressed. Anyway, I couldn't wait to go to "see if it had worked". Sweet. Then, we had a snow day. I was so bummed because I had to wait another 24 hours to find out the answer.

Clearly, we all saw (pun intended) that the answer was no.

You know the rest of the tale...the meeting with THE Dr. Cogen, the surgery, the skunk, the eye shield, the eye drops, the trips to Bham, the patches, the glasses.

Somewhere between putting eye drops in every hour and Anderson being able to say "eye pa", I happened to stumble into a big puddle of acceptance. I really like it here.

Acceptance is a place where I prefer Anderson with his glasses, not with the eye patch as much, but I love those little frames. I am actually eager to talk to public about the eye if I catch them giving us the awkward "trying not to stare" look. It does still anger me a tad when I hear, "Well, he is still adorable", but I am working on letting that go. (He is adorable BECAUSE, not ALTHOUGH!) Acceptance allows me a teeny bit of worry when I hear a story about a teenager with a cataract who probably can't drive because of her lack of peripheral vision, but it also just makes me patch more. Acceptance makes me realize patience is a pretty hefty perk of the patch. Imagine having to wait 7 years to find out an answer to something. In the beginning I couldn't sleep waiting for the 2 weeks to pass, now I am just sitting tight, waiting to hear that my 2nd grader can see. Acceptance allows me to think of fun Halloween costumes (a patched tire, a cyclops, a Cabbage Patch Kid-thanks for that, Aunt Em!) I now realize that my toddler is learning what most of my teenagers still haven't learned- sometimes life isn't fair & you just have to get over it. Acceptance is the recognition that the patch is a part of what makes up my bug. Just a part of the whole. NOT the whole.

The point is, I am ok. And, not the "I'm acting like I am fine with it but I secretly have mini breakdowns when I see a pregnant woman's face & I know she is hoping this doesn't happen to her." There is a really good post on littlefoureyes about this, which is what made me realize I am past that. I used to feel that way & now I realize I have way more than any pregnant woman could dream of having because it is impossible to imagine how perfect a patch can be. Seriously, you just have not seen cute until you see Anderson point at the pirates without an eyepatch in his book & say, "Oh, no! Eyepa??"