Tomorrow we are going to Anderson's next follow up visit & we are getting his glasses prescription. I am not scared of glasses as I wear them and so do most of the people I know. But, let's be honest, how many of you got them when you were 14 months old? I am about to be brutally honest with you all and myself. I need to know what I am dealing with so I can accept it. Also, I have big hopes that I am going to look back at this post in a year and laugh at my petty concerns.
Here are my concerns about glasses:
1. He won't look the same. I know, "little kids in glasses are so cute!" Everyone wants to tell me this. I agree. Other people's little kids in glasses are so cute. I mean, triplets are cute but I don't want them. These won't be an accessory that I can take off like a shirt with his name written in a Santa hat. These will always be there. I will miss his little face that is hiding behind them. I know I will get used to them and his new adorable face but I kind of like the one he has.
2. We will lose/break one pair a week. Or maybe more. From what I've read, infant glasses are not cheap or made well enough to withstand what a 1 year old is going to put them through. Since we live in reality, the financial issue is just as real as the inconvenience.
3. EVERYONE will ask about them. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like a good chat but I just don't see myself being in the mood to explain the whole story every 5 minutes when we venture out in public.
4. Totally shallow-what if I can't take as many pics because of the glare?
5. People will be mean to him/treat him differently. He will be "the kid in the glasses". I know this is better than "the kid with the peg leg" but it is still reality. Be honest, how many cartoon characters wear glasses? I find myself staring at kids on commercials or the random birthday kids that flash on the screen between Oso & Mickey Mouse. Where is the kid with glasses? Where is the superhero who wears glasses?And, maybe even an eye patch? How am I going to explain this to Anderson when he asks me? The "you're special" thing will only go so far.
6. They won't work. Ok, let's get to the real stuff. All of the surgery, patching, glasses, doc visits are supposed to help him see out of his left eye. What if it doesn't? This isn't just a rhetorical question. This is the fear that lives in a deep part of my heart. What if I fail to save his vision? He can't regain that. As a mom I am supposed to fix it. What if I can't?
ok, I feel better already because most of that sounds petty. It also probably sounds way overdramatic to most of you, but you really have no idea how I am feeling unless your 1 year old has had eye surgery and is wearing glasses & an eye patch. It doesn't seem like it should affect me so much, but it does.
But, I am sure the next post will be a pic of the cutest new superhero in town. Didn't you hear? Yeah, he wears glasses. It helps him see ALL of the bad guys.
I've got two words for you - Clark Kent. He had to wear glasses to hide his awesome superhero-ness - just like Anderson.
ReplyDeletethe above poster took the words right out of my mouth! CLARK KENT! Only the most awesome super hero in disguise EVER!!!! And he was totally hott in his glasses. I know you aren't shooting for your 1 year old to be hott-I'm just sayin-glasses can be a great thing!
ReplyDeleteAnd Zach (my 13 year old, 7th grade, punk middle schooler) wanted me to let you know that NO ONE at his school who wears glasses gets teased. He said people get teased because of their terrible velcro, light up shoes (yep, there is a 7th grader wearing them) but not for their glasses.
And as far as having to explain the story of "why" over and over, when people ask and you aren't in the mood, just say "because he can't see without them." or if you are me, you say "because." And walk away. HA!
Easy peasy!
Just pray, and pray some more for an successful eye surgery...and know that you and Brandon are doing everything you can.... Worry about today and the patching and tomorrow the glasses and six years from now you can worry about the surgery.. One day at a time remember that. Love you.
ReplyDeleteok, since abby got hers at a young age, 3, i can answer some of these concerns. #1 he wont look the same. and if his are like abby's, they will have thick lenses. brutally honest, sorry, but that is the truth. but of course, you know as well as i do, he could have a 2nd head growing and you would still think he is the most beautiful child on earth. #2 abby was older, plus a girl, so we did not have to deal with this issue. sorry. that is something i would be worried about as well but what can you do? jacob's allergy pill (control the allergies=control the asthma) that he takes DAILY costs $130 a month. that is $10 a pill. needless to say, i freak if he drops it. #3 yes everyone will ask. and it will be a pain for you and for him eventually. i say have fun with it (the parrot story is GREAT). #4 you WILL be able to take pics still. they will turn out fine. #5 i could be wrong, but i don't think it is much of an issue anymore. soooooo many kids wear glasses these days, i guess bc they are catching eye problems earlier (clearly more if my mom had anything to do with it lol) that it just isn't something that is considered "different" these days. abby never got made fun of, that i remember. plus, by the time he is old enough to question it, i don't think he will bc they have been a part of his life for so long. #6 sorry, no good answer for this either. love you so much, and i understand you wanting to fix it, but just add this one to the whole list of things you can't control (at the top of mine are drugs, him being bullied in school and wanting to kill himself-i have to stop reading those stories- and him marrying a girl who doesn't like me-how petty is that i ask you).
ReplyDeleteHE'S going to be great! YOU cannot control some things no matter how much you want to! I understand how you feel, but Anderson is going to be fine and he's going to charm the pants off everybody People won't notice his glasses because he's going to be a great person, kid, youngster, young man, adult. You are raising him right and if "Public" only see glasses, and not the sweetie he is, then they have a shallowness problem and he wouldn't want to be around them anyway! Love the comeback, "So he can see!" OR if Public is asking and has on glasses,ask them "Why do YOU wear them" LOL
ReplyDeleteLove to you guys!!!
Aunt Lo-Lo
Oh, I just want to give you both a hug. It does suck. The whole thing. Let's be honest. But, what do we do when we are faced with difficult things? We step up to the plate and do our best. You are doing your best and getting that precious little boy every bit of help you can find him. No one can guarantee that he will be perfect in the end, but that goes for every aspect of life. Anderson is Anderson, the funny, silly, active, and goofy kid he always has been and always will be. I know my experience was different, but I can say that as I look back now, a year later, my fears of my son never speaking and being autistic and "odd" turned out to be just as silly as I had hoped. BUT, we had to go through the fear and the pain to get the help and the diagnosis we needed. 4 appointments with therapists every week for a year got him where he is today, and it was inconvenient, expensive, and he hated it at first, but look at him now - it was all worth it! All my prayers are that next year you have a similar story to tell.
ReplyDeleteI found solace in the fact that Jeremy would be a better kid because of what he had to overcome at such a young age, and it has panned out. He is the nicest kid in class to the other child with a disability and cares more about the feelings and struggles of others. Just think what amazing character developments these glasses and surgeries may reveal for your son!
Love you!!
WEll, somehow, the godmother is the last one to comment, again. I have no idea why I have not commented. Except I don't know what to say. I think, right now it is okay to just be a little pissed about it all.
ReplyDeleteAll I keep thinking is that "I love him" but that doesn't really help. But, that is what I keep thinking when I try to figure out a way to help. I love him. It's all I got.